"I'll never leave you or forsake you."

Ever wondered about that story in Exodus 33 where God decides to leave the Israelites to go on ahead without his presence? Its one of those classic theological dilemmas because after Moses pleads with God, God apparently changes his mind and decides to go with them after all. I personally have struggled with this story and with its implications, however tonight I saw it in a new light. It was one of those parenting low points - or so I thought. We had gone out for a late night shop at ALDI since the cupboards were bare. We finished shopping at about eight-thirty and while the kids had been pretty good, they were starting to lose it. Nathan in particular when he is tired cannot tolerate the restriction of being in his car seat. Two minutes from home he started agitating and crying saying he wanted to get out. In a moment of frustration (Jordan also was crying) I pulled a classic "Daddy move" and drove the car into a car-park and stopped. "Go on then." I said. "Off you go." I unbuckled his belt and opened his door expecting repentance, but humorously (with the benefit of hindsight certainly) he called my bluff and hopped out looking back at me defiantly. What to do? I did what any dad would have done. I put the car into drive and started to pull away. He ran beside the car for a little bit. In the end I'm not sure who "won" the standoff, but he did agree that he wanted to come home with us and got back into his seat.

After I got home I had a moment alone to be disgusted with myself. I began to repent for being so impetuous and said to God "see, I'm not a good dad. You wouldn't do that." Almost immediately I was reminded of the story in Exodus 33. Actually, God would and did do something very similar. Now I run a grave risk of over simplifying what has been for ages past a perplexing theological question in comparing my experience tonight to this passage. So let me not claim to have solved it, but I certainly feel like I identified with what God seems to have been feeling in this story - absolute frustration at the obstinate disobedience of his children. Yes sure, in my case it was certainly more than half our own fault for having them out so late, but work with me... Could it be that God was pulling a "Daddy move" to illicit exactly the reaction which he got - tears of repentance and pleas for his presence?

Well who knows. But Exodus 33 was certainly an encouragement to this imperfect earthly father tonight.


Clayton

P.S. and don't worry, he wasn't emotionally damaged. We had a good father-son talk, where I reassured him that I loved him and that I would NEVER leave him.